


Ask Not for Whom the Baja Blasts

by eviscreate



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Bee is a littol boy, Blaster works retail, Crack, Gen, Taco Bell, VERY much just stupid crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviscreate/pseuds/eviscreate
Summary: Jazz and Bumblebee go for a drive to Taco Bell for a snack. :]
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Ask Not for Whom the Baja Blasts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hellequinlux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellequinlux/gifts).



> Bcause it blasts for ME, bitch the Baja SPEAKS to me

Bumblebee burst down the door to Jazz’s habsuite. “Hey Jazz do you wanna go to Taco Bell?” He bumbled

“Bee my man what the fuck,” Jazz asked, “Why would I NOT want to go to Taco Bell?”

“Hell yeah let’s fragging GO” Bee jumped onto Jazz’s shoulders and sat there like he was about 1/3 of the size he actually is. Jazz got up and walked towards the door.

“Jazz, Bumblebee, where are you two going?” Ironhide called out to them from where he was manning security.

“Taco Bell my good bitch” Bee yelled back at him. 

Jazz was walking too fast; they didn’t hear Ironhide’s call of “Get me some cinnamon twists!!!!” 

Jazz transformed and drove away from the base. The pulled up to Taco Bell soon, Bee hanging on to Jazz’s roof and kicking his legs like a tweenage girl on the phone with her crush. The two drove up to the drive-thru window and Jazz transformed as he smashed through the wall.

“Bee what do you want” Jazz asked

“Doritos Locos Nachos” Bee vibrated. He fucking LOVED Doritios Locos Nachos. He loved them more than he loved his dad Otptimus.

Jazz turned to the cashier, who had just pissed their pants. “We’ll take 17 Doritos Locos Nachos and a crunchwrap supreme and two large drinks.” The cashier nodded and typed the order into the register, but it wasn’t the right order cause they were too terrified to stop looking at the giant robots who had just destroyed half the store.

Soon they had their food but they couldn’t actrually eat it because they’re robots so they just kinda sniffed at it for a bit and then gave it to a kid who was walking outside. Jazz went over to the drink dispenser “Alright Bee you reasdy to blast some bajas?” 

Bee did a kickflip “Hell yeah I am”

Jazz filled up their drink cups with Green Liquid. He handed one cup to Bumblebee. They opened up whatever the covers over the uh tube where the gas goes is called and poured the liquid in. Be was still vibrating so there was no difference but Jazz started also vibrating.

“Aw fuck I love baja blast” Blaster Blasted. He was the store’s speaker system

“Shut up Blaster,” Jazz said, “you can’t have any of our baja blast.”

“Mr. Jazz I don’t feel so good,” Bee said but he was smiling.

Jazz looked down at him, really far, he now actually was like 1/3 the size he normally is. Or maybe Jazz was really big now who knows. The ceiling had broken when he bust down the wall so it was kind of hard to tell with no frame of reference.

I zoned out and forgot what I was writing but Jazz said like “I know man baja blast is great. I love Taco Bell” and then they both exploded. Nobody got hurt but the soda machine was absolutely demolished and THAT. Is a crime.

“Optimus Prime!” The president of the United States walked into the Autobot base.

“What do you want I’m busy” Optimus said, hurriedly closing a tab out of the screen in a way that wasn’t suspicious at all

“You need to pay for the Taco Bell two of your soldiers just destroyed. The drink machine is broken. The people are dying of thirst. We Need to fix this.”

“I can have Toaster re-framed to turn into a soda fountain”

“Then wouldn’t he have to change his name to Fountain?”

“Why would he change his name. You think his name is Toaster because he’s a toaster? Don’t make assumptions like that. He’s a highly respected member of this family. If you’re going to disrespect my man Toaster like this I will not tolerate it,” Optimus had his hands on his hips in a Stern Fatherly Motion.

The President of the United States puts his hands up in a placating manner. “No, no, I’m sure Toaster is a fantastic guy. The people of this country will appreciate his contribution in becoming a new soda fountain,” he said.

Optimus nodded and commed Wheeljack and Ratchet to go wrangle Toaster and convert him into a drink machine. Soon he was in the ruined Taco Bell and the people were no longer thirsty as they climbed over Bee and Jazz’s scrapmetal remains to obtain the liquids. Bee and Jazz smiled down from the Allspark. The end.


End file.
